Blessings

I have never been the type to lay all of my feelings out on the table. I always try to be the strong one in trying situations, and let others lean on me. Although very recently I have learned that when you let your guard down, it feels good to have comfort and support from those that care about you. I'm sometimes bad about telling everyone the right details, and at times, things are harder to talk about, and since I haven't updated my blog in almost a YEAR, I figured, there is no better place to share a few thoughts.

About 6 weeks ago, Jonathan and I found out I was pregnant! We were very excited, as we didn't want to wait too, too long in between a second and Nolan. I went to the doctor, what they thought was 6 weeks, but it wound up being off a little. We were a little bummed that we didn't see a heartbeat, since I had a blighted ovum, that ultimately had to be removed with a D&C in February, and hoped that it wasn't going to be the same thing. However, they did see a fetal pole, a baby forming, so the doctor was hopeful that it was just too soon. And she was right...

We went back a week later and the baby was measuring 6 weeks and 6 days, and had a strong heartbeat!! Yaay! I had a few minor things going on, so the doctor wanted to see me every week until 10 weeks. So the next visit was good too... a growing baby, and a heart rate of 175...

I was so anxious for that last appointment, b/c we could finally start telling people! Unfortunately, when I went in for my 10 week appointment, the news was not so great this time. The baby had stopped growing at 9 weeks, and the doctor could not see a heartbeat. Apparently, the baby was "very abnormal" according to the doctor. And there would have been a lot of complications, had it made it.

Yesterday I had to go get a D & C, which I am very grateful that they were able to get me in so soon. I was glad that the Chaplain came in, and gave us a little something to keep...

Wednesday and yesterday were days of very mixed emotions. At times I was completely fine to talk about it, while others it was very hard to hold back the tears. I also felt guilty for being sad, when others have lost so much more. But as I talked to Jonathan, and he reassured me that everything is in God's plan, I couldn't help but to think of the blessings that still came out of the situation.

According to the doctor, it was very rare for what happened to happen so early on in the pregnancy, so I am so blessed that it did happen that early.

I am blessed by so many of the encouraging words that people offered.

I am blessed knowing that I have a little baby in heaven waiting for me.

And most of all, I am blessed that I have such a wonderful husband, and beautiful boy that is the greatest blessing.

Not so "merry" Santa pics...

Santa had been waving at Santa at different things we went to like Christmas Magic and the malls, so I though that maybe, just maybe, he would be ok... attempt #1:

 Yeah, so no liking it too much...attempt #2 was worse, but at least Santa was actually looking this time.

My friend Liz told me to pic the most damatic picture...so we chose this one since you can see down his throat. While it looks as if he is screaming, he's actually trying so had that NO sound is coming out.

New Address

I will now be blogging under this address...I figure this way I can blog what everyone is doing!! And no, I'm not pregnant :).... just changing the web address...there will be a lot of BACK blogging going on...so be prepared for pumpkin patch pictures soon!!!

Christmas Card 2010

With Love Chartreuse Christmas Card

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Better late than never!!!

So there really are no excuses why I waited until my baby was 15 months old, to post his 1 year Happy Birthday Post...of course I had BIG plans, to do an elaborate post, with Happy First Birthday Nolan, and write how wonderful this year has been...well that never happened, and while yes, the year was wonderful, it's pretty much ridiculous to write all that now. So instead, I thought I would at least post the pictures from the events of Nolan's big birthday....

This is just one picture from Nolan's Chuck E Cheese birthday....long story, but I was having to steal pictures from Corinn's facebook, and after having to get a new camera battery to make sure that I did this post on the exact 15 month (November 10th) date, I thought one picture would suffice.

Nolan's bday present from his Aunties....his car...looooves his car. He loved it then, and he STILL loves it. He rides in it, almost every day.

Birthday morning....happy birthday!!!

Birthday breakfast....oh yeah, gotta love the puffs!

For lunch we had McDonald's with our friends... well Nolan had peas, because he doesn't like meat...not hamburgers, not chicken...and barely fries...so he eats peas.

He had a fun time!

That night we had tickets to the Ranger game!! This was his second Ranger game...he did pretty well...as long as we have the snack trap, and some fishies, we can last a good while! :)

For his BIG party we had friends and family at the house, with a big water slide/obstacle course in the backyard! It was a lot of fun, and all the kids had a great time!

Who doesn't love cake!??! mmm...mmmm....

Baby boobies....hopefully they don't become man boobies!!! With daddy!!!

Now this is the last post of THIS blog....I can't keep the same address...littlebabyhawkins...it just doesn't really fit anymore...:( plus, I would like something that incorporates the entire family....and NO I am not pregnant, and NO I don't plan on becoming pregnant ANYTIME SOON...I just want to blog under a different address. SOOOO....once this blog has been printed, I will change the name, and then I will become a little better (I hope) at blogging!! I have a ton of things that have happened after Nolan's birthday...well obviously, he does something different every week...So I will be sure and keep everyone posted when the address changes!! Thanks for reading...bubye for now!!!

Crazy Man Walking

Nolan is totally walking now!! Hardly even crawls at all!! I can't believe it!! He is such a crazy man....when I get my pictures organized, I will upload some of him walking more...these are not actually when he is walking, this was a couple of weeks ago at the Ranger Game. Yup, I broke some rules and let him stay up past 7:30!! He is getting to be a big boy now, so I told him he can do more things, ONCE in awhile :) He had such a good time!!!

He is so silly.....

He got a little crazy and didn't want to sit still...except for a cookie!! Just like his dad....

A little delirious...we only stayed until about 8:45, but still WAY past his bed time!!!

SUPER BUSY!!!

Rent houses are driving us craaazzy right now!! So here is a quick hello...