Clearing Hurdles

I always loved the hurdles in junior high. They were always so intimidating and kind of scary as you approached them...but with the right coaching and the right form, they didn't seem so bad! And once you cleared them you had such a feeling of joy and accomplishment! The past couple of days have brought me back to my days (mind you, they were few, but still existed) of running hurdles.

Yesterday I had to go back for my 6 week checkup following my D & C. Don't you always love when you are lying on the table and the doctor says..."Well that's just so strange, I've never seen that before..." Well gee thanks DOC...so if you don't know what it is...how the HECK am I supposed to Google it! Just kidding, but really...what kind of assurance does she think she is giving me by acting like I'm some kind of anomaly. What she was referring to was the odd amount of blood in my uterus...so much to where I could actually see it flowing on the ultrasound machine. Could be material she didn't get in the D & C, could be from a menstruation...who knows (literally)...but hopefully in a week it won't be there anymore...

The other news I found out, was that the baby died because "she" had Turner's Syndrome, which after researching, found out that it only occurs in girls. I'm glad that we know why the baby died, but knowing that it was actually a little girl, brings back all of the emotions again, that I thought we had already dealt with, and makes the fact that it actually was a baby more real. And since we know that she did have a chromosome malfunction, the doctor wants us to go to genetic counseling...

So. As I continue to go over these hurdles, they are a little scary...but I know that God has coached me to get though them and he will help me get over them with great "form"...and once I am over them, it feels so great knowing that God helped me to do it, and well, that I did it! And if nothing else, I am beyond grateful for my little man..(and boy does he ever look like a little old man in this pic...)

and the overwhelming support  of my family and friends...who I know I can depend on no matter WHAT!!! So if you are thinking of me in the next couple of days, please say a little prayer that 1.) genetic counseling would go well 2.) the random blood in my uterus would be gone AAANDD 3.) the cysts on my ovary would be gone (which I forgot to mention, but didn't seem like too big of a problem). Prayers would be greatly appreciated....thanks all!

1000 mg of "chill" and Toddler Truths

Soo usually I post on things happening in my life, or mainly Nolan's...but TONIGHT, I thought I would just share a piece of my mind.. :) (cue venting)

Too often lately, I have noticed that people in general really just need to CHILL OUT. For some reason, well, let me re-phrase that, I am sure there are MANY reasons why people are in a bad mood... I will be the first one to admit that I DEFINITELY have those days, but COME ON PEOPLE, we are ALL going through different battles, yet can still CHOOSE how we let those affect us.

(now cue long story, so skip past this part if you're in a rush)

Last week I was driving through a shopping center, and came to a place that needs to be a four way stop. BUT for whatever reason, it isn't. So more than once, I have stopped and anticipated the other person is going to stop and started going, and then have to stop short because they are going...ok NOT that big of a deal..we all have done it. Is that the best driving tip? By no means no. But I stop immediately and am not in the way. So on a day where I have done this yet again, I again, stop immediately and say, well mouth, "Oh soorryy  :/" in return, this lovely lady mouthed..."LEARN HOW TO DRIVE, YOU MOTHER (explicit)..." then flips me off...     WOW... I mean, was that at all necessary.

Then in Costco yesterday, as I was talking to the sample girl about how her day was going being the lucky girl that gets to pass out the ROASTED SEAWEED...gag....a lady, loudly exclaims behind me..."Move it!!"   Ohhh, no, did she just say that?? I said, "You COULD have said excuse me.." She whips around and says " [pause with a dirty look] Ex-ca-UUSE YYOOU "    another wow. 

I am blown away by people!!! Take a chill pill, and try to enjoy life a little more...it would not only make you feel better, but the others around you as well...

And now very quickly for the TODDLER TRUTHS

As we were running to the park today, Nolan says behind me "haha .. Mommy's belllyyy"

I have now decided to put BOTH of these on my nightstand.

Tracy Anderson Method -- DO 3 REPS OF THE FOLLOWING: 50 crunches 20 squat jumps 1 minute plank 2 minute wall sit 30 side crunches, each side 20 roll- back- and- jumps 20 v- ups 150 calf raises; 90 regular, 30 right leg, 30 left leg

repeat this cycle 2x right when you wake up in the morning :) 50 jumping jacks 5 pushups 20 sit ups 20 mountain climbers 30 second plank 7 burbees....Ok I really am trying this...everyday, until Christmas and see if I notice anything...

Sleep tight everyone!!

Blessings

I have never been the type to lay all of my feelings out on the table. I always try to be the strong one in trying situations, and let others lean on me. Although very recently I have learned that when you let your guard down, it feels good to have comfort and support from those that care about you. I'm sometimes bad about telling everyone the right details, and at times, things are harder to talk about, and since I haven't updated my blog in almost a YEAR, I figured, there is no better place to share a few thoughts.

About 6 weeks ago, Jonathan and I found out I was pregnant! We were very excited, as we didn't want to wait too, too long in between a second and Nolan. I went to the doctor, what they thought was 6 weeks, but it wound up being off a little. We were a little bummed that we didn't see a heartbeat, since I had a blighted ovum, that ultimately had to be removed with a D&C in February, and hoped that it wasn't going to be the same thing. However, they did see a fetal pole, a baby forming, so the doctor was hopeful that it was just too soon. And she was right...

We went back a week later and the baby was measuring 6 weeks and 6 days, and had a strong heartbeat!! Yaay! I had a few minor things going on, so the doctor wanted to see me every week until 10 weeks. So the next visit was good too... a growing baby, and a heart rate of 175...

I was so anxious for that last appointment, b/c we could finally start telling people! Unfortunately, when I went in for my 10 week appointment, the news was not so great this time. The baby had stopped growing at 9 weeks, and the doctor could not see a heartbeat. Apparently, the baby was "very abnormal" according to the doctor. And there would have been a lot of complications, had it made it.

Yesterday I had to go get a D & C, which I am very grateful that they were able to get me in so soon. I was glad that the Chaplain came in, and gave us a little something to keep...

Wednesday and yesterday were days of very mixed emotions. At times I was completely fine to talk about it, while others it was very hard to hold back the tears. I also felt guilty for being sad, when others have lost so much more. But as I talked to Jonathan, and he reassured me that everything is in God's plan, I couldn't help but to think of the blessings that still came out of the situation.

According to the doctor, it was very rare for what happened to happen so early on in the pregnancy, so I am so blessed that it did happen that early.

I am blessed by so many of the encouraging words that people offered.

I am blessed knowing that I have a little baby in heaven waiting for me.

And most of all, I am blessed that I have such a wonderful husband, and beautiful boy that is the greatest blessing.